9/24 - Thoughts

"Have you ever thought of being a cheerleader?", the boy sitting in front of me asks. My eyes widen. It's working. The plan.. The acting.. It's actually working. I smile, the corners of my mouth turning upward, the feeling so fake. "No.. Why?" He responds quickly, like the answer is so blatantly obvious. "Because you're always just so.. Joyfull." This guy.. I've known him for years, but it's not like we've ever been close, though he's super fun.. I hear he's on parole till November. I was so taken aback by his question, because sometimes I forget how different perceptions and reality are. Especially in my world. To the naked eye, hey, I'm not an extravert, but it's not like my person is intimidating. I smile. I laugh. But I think if people could hear my thoughts, they'd all run away. I forget sometimes that everyone is this way. Everyone has their own private universe.. One where dreams are plentiful and thoughts run unfiltered. Sitting alone on the bus with my legs curled around me and a book in my lap, walking to class with music drowning out the meaningless conversations that linger in the air around me, locking myself in my closet because why is everything damn complicated.. I like my world. There are no boundaries, no one to worry over. I love it. Simplification of reality meets intricately thought out fantasies. It's a perfect loneliness.. My flawless totality.